Lie of Omission
by K'lara7
Summary: Entry for SC60 at TF. Takes place after Eat Me.


SC 60: Lie of Omission

Starburst Challenge 60 (hosted by vinegardog): The story should star at least one of our main characters either lying or being lied to and then being caught in the lie or uncovering the liar.

Rating: G.  
Spoilers/Time Frame: Eat Me forward.  
Disclaimer: The characters and universe of Farscape are the property of the Henson Co.

He always knew he wasn't the copy. He remembered getting hit by the beam that duplicated him. He never said anything because she should have known. She should have been able to tell which one was the original. He didn't know if he would ever have told her the truth. It was obvious she didn't know how to tell them apart. She threw him the green shirt and ordered him to keep an eye on Crais. It hurt to know she really couldn't tell the difference.

Aeryn knew him better than anyone, if she couldn't tell the difference, then no one could. Jool tried to tell them apart, but even her genetic scans didn't show anything. If he didn't remember getting hit by the bolt, feeling it and seeing it retreat, he would doubt himself too. Everything he saw in that moment told him he was the original. The blast that duplicated him wasn't targeted correctly.

It would have been so easy to let the copy die. Then he wouldn't compete with himself over the affections of the only woman he would ever love. He'd made a promise to himself, or rather the caveman version of himself to not be selfish. He'd watched that worthy copy die and refused to go through that again, especially, if he could save him. This copy was injured in his place. Had there not been the two of him, he would have been the one lying on that bed dying.

In his heart, he knew Aeryn didn't pick one of them over the other. It was fate playing out her cards again. He was needed on Moya, even if that wasn't where his heart was. If Aeryn were going to go off with Crais and Talyn, he couldn't think of a better protector than himself. The other Crichton honestly thought he was the original. He had no reason to suspect that he wasn't. He had all of the same memories except the one that came after the blast.

_The blast hit him in the side from behind. As he landed, he took inventory of his body. Everything seemed there and in one piece. He was a little dizzy. The ball of energy coalesced beside him. He was afraid it would blow the Leviathan up and he needed to get away from the blast radius. Running up the steps of the pod and hearing himself behind him didn't come __as much of surprise as it should have._

Was it was his dumb luck or fate that left him to keep an eye on D'Argo, Pilot, Moya and the girls? Aeryn had his twin, she didn't need him. For a brief few moments in time he began to doubt himself. Was he the copy? Pilot thought he might be, since he was bleeding for no apparent reason. Then they discovered the energy rider and had to rescue Chiana. It was a relief to understand why he started bleeding.

The time away from Aeryn taught him that he could stand on his own two feet in this bizarre corner of the galaxy he now called home. He came to think of his cell on Moya as home. After his fight with D'Argo and his near death experience, he found a reason to keep going. He wasn't ready to give up. He would always love Aeryn, she was a part of him. Now he could move on and accept that his twin was in life. He would stay here on Moya. Nowhere else would feel like home without Aeryn.

Though he had the wormhole knowledge, he'd lost the desire to go home. Going home would take him away from Aeryn and Moya. He couldn't have her, but he couldn't leave her. He wanted to live, if only to see her again.

When they got the communication that Talyn was on his way, he thought his heart would beat out of his chest. She would be on board any time now and he wanted to impress her, and the other him, with how well he could manage without her. Jealousy and revenge were painful emotions that would kill him if he let them control him.

The shock of finding out, from Crais of all people, that his twin was gone, having sacrificed himself for so many others, was almost more than he could bear. He'd accepted the fact that Aeryn and his twin were together. He was willing to accept being their friend. Now that he was gone, the whole world flipped on its axis. He was back to being the only human in this part of the galaxy. Strange that he missed himself.

D'Argo thought he understood how John felt. In a way he did. Yes, he was heartbroken because Aeryn now saw him as the copy. But it was his own stubbornness that had kept him from revealing that he wasn't the copy. If he had insisted they listen to him; proven that he was the original, would he have been the one on Talyn? Would he now be dead? It didn't matter what events led to his twin's death, he knew that if he had been the one on Talyn, then he would be dead.

The old woman figured it out. That powder of hers, maybe. Noranti hadn't even been on Moya when he was duplicated. She understood that he was lying to himself and that he blamed himself. The guilt was eating him alive. The real reason he was taking the Lakka? It wasn't to keep from thinking of Aeryn. It was to keep from thinking about his twin. The guilt he felt in having been the one who lived. His twin should be here on Moya. It wasn't right that his twin died because of the knowledge he held. Had he spoken out, made them listen, then he would have been on Talyn and his twin would still be alive. One more death on his shoulders, this one is his own.

Again he made a promise to himself, not to waste the life he has been given. And now with all the fighting, all the death, he has come full circle. The new scar over his left eye has become a reminder of all that was lost and gained. He has a final reminder of the sacrifice yet another has made for him. He has learned to be grateful instead of mournful, for without his twin, he wouldn't have this life. He owes it to his twin to live.


End file.
